I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
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I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
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22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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