wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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