i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
