The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
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After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
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My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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