he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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