So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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