Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
