So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
