I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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