im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
