I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I smell like Dick and happiness
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
