i don't like sucking hair
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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