I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
