We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Four minutes until I can fart!
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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