oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
