proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
