is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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