it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
