I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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