every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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