Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
