Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
