Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
