So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
