i permit you to call me
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
