You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize