STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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