you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
