i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Terrible idea I love it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
