we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
