2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize