its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
