I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
