that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
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i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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