I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
