Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
