i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
