i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
