I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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