Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
