k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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