Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
She is in my trunk
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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