i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
