he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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