dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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