I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
