So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
