i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
