You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize