I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
