he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
