I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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