did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
