id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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