Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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