planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
