I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
