ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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