I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So vagazzling was a success
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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