what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize